Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships (2023) by Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW
After reading the first 3 sentences of the introduction, I knew I was going to LOVE this book. And it did not disappoint! .
Licensed therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab outlines the complexities of navigating family dynamics in a clear, concise, and compassionate way. She reviews a variety of healthy, unhealthy, and toxic patterns; provides anecdotal examples of how these patterns might play out; describes a variety of ways a person may choose to navigate or challenge these patterns; and provides self-reflective prompts at the end of each chapter to allow the reader to to explore how they may resonate with the topic and steps they need to take to move forward. At the heart of it all, are boundaries, a sense of agency, and assertive communication.
Relationship dynamics in family systems provide the foundation for other relationship dynamics/how we show up in other interpersonal relationships in our lives–friendships, romantic relationships, professional relationships, etc. It is valuable to be able to “see” the patterns and identify how they may have been harming us/our relationships in the past, so that we may take accountability to do the work to de-condition these patterns in order to increase our capacity to engage in healthier relationships.
Throughout this book, Tawwab provides options. There is respect for the myriad of ways a person may try to navigate challenging family dynamics and Tawwab leaves space for that, especially because trying to challenge the norms of complex family systems takes a lot of courage and is often met with resistance. My 6th grade teacher had a poster on the door that read “stand up for what you believe is right even if you’re standing alone” and Tawwab acknowledges the reality that sometimes asserting boundaries to protect yourself may be met with alienation.
How did I hear about this book: A colleague in one of my clinical supervision groups recommended it to me
Would I recommend it to colleagues: Absolutely
Would I recommend this to clients: 100% and I have
How do I apply this content to my work: Who we are is completely interrelated with our family systems and family dynamics. They can reinforce both our traumas/wounds as well as support our strengths. Assessing family dynamics is a key part of my work with clients in the treatment of trauma and addiction. These patterns and relationships can provide valuable insight to many of the negative core beliefs I may work with clients to reprocess, and/or reassessing core values as I support my clients in cultivating their core sense of self. Additionally, I facilitate a family education group for clients/families in a residential treatment center not only to help support the transition back home for the clients, but also to acknowledge how valuable it is for the whole family to heal as individuals and collectively as a family system to better support the success of the clients’ recovery process.
Disclaimers: These reviews are based on my own personal experience reading these books and do not reflect on the book’s author or publisher. I have not received any commissions or other incentives to promote my reviews. My reviews express my own unbiased opinions.
