How to Keep House While Drowning (2022) by KC Davis, LPC
KC Davis, LPC has devised a philosophy to help those of us who struggle with consistently keeping up with tasks of daily living based on her own experiences of learning how to re-define the goals and beliefs around task completion, identifying barriers to task completion, and ultimately shifting her perspective around completing tasks of daily living as morally neutral. Davis guides the reader to create a customized approach to housekeeping that supports self-care and compassion as opposed to triggering guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, etc. when we inevitably fall behind. By helping us to identify and/or de-construct any functional barriers we may be experiencing (i.e., lack of skills, challenges related to executive functioning, trauma, culturally constructed beliefs or expectations, etc.) , we are then able to re-construct a plan to simplify our to-do list and create work-arounds that accommodate our needs and/or natural rhythms to make task completion more functional and accessible and thereby leaving the us with more time and energy to invest in rest and/or other restorative tasks.
An additional feature of this book is how Davis reflects on her own experiences as a neurodivergent and how she was able to adapt her strategies to accommodate her unique needs. The book is likewise tailored for neurodivergence and consistently offers prompts for alternative approaches to reading the book and applying the skills that are outlined.
How did I hear about this book: A colleague in one of my clinical supervision groups recommended it to me
Would I recommend it to colleagues: Sure
Would I recommend this to clients: Sure
How do I apply this content to my work: There are a couple of ways this book resonates with my therapeutic approaches– On the one hand, Polyvagal Theory is a strong part of my foundation and this book reinforces the value of meeting yourself where you’re at and re-framing our goals based on what is realistic so we can better set ourselves up for success (hello SMART goals!). The other thing is that this book encourages us to evaluate our relationships with chore/task completion. How did we come to assign value or moral judgement to task completion? Do we have a history of trauma tied to task completion? Etc. By encouraging the reader to re-frame task completion as morally neutral, it can help to get a more objective understanding of these elements and we can work together to heal and/or re-process them as a long-term goal while they practice meeting themselves where they are at, prioritizing self-care, and feeling secure in the “good enough” in the short-term.
Additionally, I find it to be a common experience (for myself included) to get caught in a linear-focused cycle of “do more”, whereas the philosophy outlined in this book encourages us to take a step back to evaluate what the problem/barriers might be (spoiler alert—it’s not always because we are not good enough, not capable, lazy, etc.) and to develop the awareness that there is more than one way to clean a house, or there is more than one way to define the goals for task completion, AND that we have agency to make the choice to come up with something that works for us. And when I feel like myself or my clients are starting to spiral or get stuck in a loop, that’s usually my sign to pull back and start brain-storming some other angles to the problem.
Disclaimers: These reviews are based on my own personal experience reading these books and do not reflect on the book’s author or publisher. I have not received any commissions or other incentives to promote my reviews. My reviews express my own unbiased opinions.
