Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy Seals Lead and Win (2015) by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
Jocko Willink and Leif Babin are taking the principles of all of their leadership training as US Navy Seals and applying to various leadership structures in the business world to improve business success and/or mitigate failure. At the core of their training is total and complete humility as depicted in the book’s title (Extreme Ownership). Through anecdotes of their own combat experience, they exemplify their own mistakes and failures, as well as successes in implementing these principles and surviving life or death situations. As a leader, they make it clear that there is no room for egotism; that the mission/big picture/team is more important than ANY individual person (the leader included). Because of the complex nature of successfully carrying out a successful mission, the qualities of a leader require a very tensile, but flexible, balance between various dichotomies and it appears it would require a person who is very centered, grounded, and courageous to successfully walk that line.
While some of the anecdotes did feel a little redundant, I recognize that this book was written so that it could be read out of order and not necessarily cover-to-cover. But overall, this was a good book and I think the concepts and principles are incredibly valuable and applicable in the many areas in our life where a leadership structure exists. I resonated with many of the traits and principles reviewed in my role as a therapist, whether offering support and guidance to my clients in individual therapy sessions or as a group therapy facilitator. I also looked at my family structure and evaluated my leadership role in that. I value humility greatly and it is something I have come to practice regularly. It was hard for me at first because I would often feel afraid and/or ashamed to admit I had made a mistake. But as challenging as it was to own up to mistakes (feeling like I had my tail between my legs), the outcome has consistently been positive. The consequences were less severe and I was likely to get help/support to correct the mistake and figure out a way to move forward.
How did I hear about this book: a couple of different clients mentioned they were reading it/had recommended it to me
Would I recommend it to colleagues: Sure
Would I recommend this to clients: Yes.
How do I apply this content to my work: As a social worker, I am trained to evaluate (and treat) clients from a bio-psycho-social-spiritual perspective, meaning that I am trained to constantly evaluate complex interrelationships of variables (in a way that can be difficult for me to articulate using the linear patterns of our language). So here’s my attempt at explaining the interconnectedness of the individual as a part of the system, the need to part of a community for survival, and how humility/healing is at the heart of it all.
We appear to live in a culture that prioritizes values such as perfectionism, being the best, always being right, winning, etc. And when I examine these values, I sense a defensive energy—by definition inferring a sense of threat or danger. As a result, I can appreciate the fear, insecurity, and vulnerability it may take to adopt a value and a practice of humility and the amount of courage it takes to implement (especially for a person with any history of trauma). But, it is the foundation for healing. The First Step in the 12-Step process is admitting “we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable”. As a therapist, it is my job to meet my clients where they are at and supportively guide them through the healing process. I do my best to model humility as a form of co-regulation to support and increased sense of safety for my clients to adopt this practice. But sometimes I’m not the person they need to model this (and/or they need to hear it from more than just me). As a result, this book can be a helpful tool to exemplify the value(s) of humility (and accountability) in a way that I may not be able to. Additionally, it is important that we all feel like we are part of a safe and supportive community rather than to be among those who may betray or scapegoat us at any moment. As such, humility, honesty, and accountability are not just core components of the recovery process, but are core tenets of the recovery community due to the interrelatedness between the individual and the community. Our nervous system needs to feel connected to feel safe, and needs to feel safe in order to thrive and heal. My role as a therapist is to represent as a member of my client’s support community, to contribute to their sense of safety so they can let down their guards enough to heal.
